Finally Home

It’s been a long winding road,
But finally I’m here
At a happy place
Where I have no fear

It’s been a twisted journey

But now I’m home

Secure in my heart

Wherever I roam

It’s been rough at times

And bumpy too

But with each new bump

I revived myself anew

It’s been up and down

And I’ve felt thrown around

But finally I have found

My secure ground

I have a lovely room

I have a lovely spouse

I have a lovely son

I have a lovely house

And yet I know

That the happiness I’ve found

Is more than the people

And the things around

It is a freedom within

A permission to be

That only I could give

And have given to me

Dear Dawn

I have had a pendulum equation with getting up early - I love the mornings, and yet would sleep in late and blah blah blah......all kinds of stories. This morning I woke up to meet dawn - and.....

Dear Dawn,

You greet me in your splendor
Your irresistible charm
Drenched in seductive beauty
I know you mean no harm

Yet, I am scared of you
The freshness in your air
The pureness of your spirit
That makes me feel so bare

Your scent of fragrant blossoms
Your painted colourful sky
You intoxicate my senses
And bring me tears of joy

Such joy, I cannot hold
Alone in my tiny heart
Inspiration I cannot stop
From flowing into art

I fear the spaces you take me
You enchanted container of love
Mesmerized I now gaze
At the eagles soaring above

My mind is now invaded
By your sprightly chirping birds
I fear I am now compelled
To sing out loud in words

You just light up my spirit
And set it ablaze with aliveness
I fear my own power
I fear its potent rawness

You dawn, you enchantress
Dew drop adorned temptress
I’ll drop my fears and come
To meet you in your oneness

- Ramya Ranganathan 

The Solution

 #triggeralert

This level of radical self-acceptance might trigger some of you. I know this because it would have triggered me a few years back.

I know the barrage of left-brained arguments that the mind can throw up in response to a poem like this. If that happens in your mind, I invite you to read this poem from your heart instead. If it still feels wonky, substitute the 'I' with a dear friend, your child, or a pet and see if you might find a resonance then.

The Solution

Growing up, growing out

Growing up, growing in

I got chronically overwhelmed

By problems outside and within

I studied the world outside

Dabbled with science and art

Studied mechanisms to manage

My savage mind and heart

But the more I tried to solve

The wilder the problems grew

Each problem I seemed to solve

Triggered fresh problems anew

So I kept solving problems

Running fast to keep pace

And eventually, I had to admit

I could not win this race

So I imagined a new problem

The most complex that could be

For which the unique solution

Would be crazy, chaotic me

I then embraced that solution

With all the love that I could find

Embracing the seeming madness

In my heart and in my mind

- Ramya Ranganathan

www.craftingourlives.com

Pic location: Hike around our farm near Thally

Competition

Come on now! I told Competition

You can't just show up here

This is a space I hold very sacred

A space that is extremely dear

“Exactly why I came” - she said

For what fun is it otherwise

The more the space is dear to you

The more important will be the prize

Prize? I gasped, I don't want one

Please just let me be alone

Just go away, don't tempt me here

With the glitter of a throne

“You know you could be the queen”

She softly whispered to me

“The winner, the star, number one

A hero for all to see”

I looked at her, I looked at me

I looked at the path we had tread

She had not just followed me here

In captivity she had been led

I had created her, I could free her

But who would I be without her

Who would I be without a proof

That I was better than another

Would I dare to set her free today

And walk ahead on my own

Knowing there would be no reference

In the ways that I could be known

I realized then that she was pregnant

Her baby was the ‘need to be seen’

So I set them free both together

And I freed me from who I had been

I swirled and twisted once again

To become the invisible magic I be

I dropped my need to show or prove

And just basked in being Me

Incredible Me

 Incredibly stupid, incredibly adorable

Is the person I have been

Incredibly colourful, incredibly insane

Is the life I have lived and seen 

Incredibly joyous, incredibly painful

Are the emotions I have felt

Incredible are the number of ways

I have let my confidence melt

Incredible are the times I burst

The times I fell apart

Times I believed that someone else

Could actually break my heart

Incredible are the ways in which

Life showed me a new way to see

The miracle I have always been

As the incredibly stupid me 

Context: 

Last night for some reason as I lay in bed I started to get memories of times in my life when I have been super silly and stupid... And even as I remembered them I was in adoration of myself for having had the me - ness, to have been that totally stupid. I could feel love and amusement for those times and for me . This was a whole new level of acknowledgement for me to step into. - and within minutes it turned into this poem.

My Success Manifesto

Did I show up today?

As the best version of me

That I could access

And choose to Be?

Then my day is a success

Did I suspend judgment

And commit to my art

Did I include the planet

Did I carry out my part

Then my creation is a success 

Did I open my heart

And go beyond my ego

Did I listen to the other

And let my love flow

Then my response is a success

Do I sow the seeds

I would like to reap

Do I count my blessings

Each day when I sleep

Then my life is a success 

Crafting Our Lives

Come join me now
As we craft our lives
Creating our own nectar
In our own beehives

Nurturing the gardens
In our heart and head
Sowing new seeds
Allowing the old to shed

Embracing more as our life
Dreaming big and bold
Beyond lies we inherited
And stories we were told

Creating spaces outside 
Where there is no fear
Where all life is precious
And every soul dear

Crafting our lives
Setting ourselves free
Choosing consciously
To be the miracle we Be

When you feel like you don't belong?

What do you do

When you feel you don't belong

Do you give up your art

Do you give up your song

What do you do

When nobody replies

To your sincere observations

To your heartfelt cries

What do you do 

When nobody comments

On your posts and writings

On your soulful vents

What do you do 

When nobody laughs

At your original jokes

Or your witty faffs

Do you give up creating

Do you give up sharing

Do you give up speaking

Do you give up baring

Or do you keep being YOU

Do you keep on going

No matter the response

Do you keep on flowing

Do you own your art

And the art of being you

As something you yourself

Will back yourself do

For if you give up YOU

To fit in for their sake

You are no longer you

And you turn into a fake

Would you choose you as original

Over mimicked or fake

Just for yourself 

For your very own sake?

They might wake up later

And worship your art

Include you in their groups

And make you a part

Or they might never

Ever, see the way you see

And even with that possibility

Your uniqueness will you BE?

Walking Away

Walking away is an art
Walking away is a skill
Walking away out of choice
Walking away when i will

I used to think I was weak
Because people had made it a wrongness
But now I actually realize
That this is also my strongness

People called me afraid
They said I was running away
And that I should be brave
And have the courage to stay

I now see that I do have courage
To leave things behind and walk
In fact I overcame my fears
Of how others would judge and talk

We can make leaving wrong
And we can make leaving right
But leaving is also a chance to let go
Of stuff we are holding very tight

That stuff could be good for us
That stuff could be bad for us
But when good and bad are so relative
Why get trapped in all that fuss?

What if leaving is just an art
What if leaving is just a skill
What if leaving is just a choice
That you exercise when you will

Nature’s Gifts

And so the bird kept singing
The river kept flowing
The leaves kept fluttering gently in the breeze

None of them cared what I had won
None of them cared what I had lost
None of them cared about who I was

The bird sang another tune
The river swelled in the monsoon
The leaves turned golden and started to fall

None of them were looking at me
None of them were demanding of me
None of them were asking anything from me

I opened my ears to enjoy the music
I opened my heart to embrace life’s flow
I opened my mind to the beauty of change

And the bird sang yet some more
The river still kept flowing
As new buds of leaves began to grow

Been a While

It’s been a while since I cried
And let those tears roll down
Roll down naturally
Roll down effortlessly
Because tears just flow that way

It’s been a while since I swam
And let the waters surround me
Hold me afloat naturally
Hold me afloat effortlessly
Because my body floats that way

It’s been a while since I sang
And let my voice pick the tunes within
Sing out naturally
Sing out effortlessly
Because songs get sung that way

It’s been a while since I wrote a poem
And let words cascade in verse
Write them naturally
Write them effortlessly
Because words come to me that way

Divine Carriers

God came to me as a person
I smirked and rebuked her
“Oh you cannot be mortal
You are a cheat and imposter”

God came to me as an angel
I blinked my eyes in disbelief
“I must be imagining things
Let me close my eyes for relief”

God came to me as an animal
My heart opened up in love
“You overpower my rational brain
So I will shut you out now”

God came to me as Me
Making me melt in divine bliss
“But I have so much wrong with me
Let me create something amiss”

Then God came to me as Nature
Swishing the leaves on the trees
Drawing patterns in the clouds
And creating art with the breeze

Dropping the subtlest of clues
To bypass my mind’s barriers
And gently surrounding me
With infinite divine carriers

Time, Mind and Life

Time did not exist before I was born
Time will not exist after I die
Time only exists in my mind
The mind that takes me low and high

Speed did not exist before I was born
Speed will not exist after I die
Speed is just a fantasy of the mind
A fantasy into which I buy

Measures did not exist before I was born
Measures will not exist after I die
Measures are just creations of my mind
To which my self esteem I tie

But Life existed before I was born
And life will exist after I die
In creatures of many shapes and forms
And bodies that crawl, swim and fly

This stream of Life is calling to me
To experience joy and bliss in the now
Beyond measurement, beyond time
Beyond what the mind will allow

I feel it in the expanse of the sky
I experience it in the dance of leaves
I sense it as a caress of the breeze
Beyond the movie my mind sees

And here is a facebook live video where I give some context about the writing of this poem: https://www.facebook.com/ramya.ranganathan.52/videos/2598404673510443/

Here and Now

Last month I was underground
Yesterday I was a stream
Tomorrow I will be the ocean
I can see it in my dream

But today I’m just a drop
Who is choosing to flow
A tiny water globule
Moving ahead with what I know

Last year I wrote a book
Yesterday I taught a course
Tomorrow I will change lives
Backed by universal force

But today I’m just a heart
Pulsing with nature’s love
A tiny human being
With gratitude for angels above

Is Now the Time?

There was a time...
When I was an achiever
I strived for medals
For certificates
Stamps of approval
Ranks and Trophies


There was a time...
I was a seeker
I searched for answers
Meaning and purpose
To understand life
To understand myself

There was a time...
I was an activist
I protested for change
For rights and equality
I lobbied, I fought
I advocated

There was a time...
I pledged service
To my fellow men
To the poor
I donated, I tithed
I fundraised

There was a time...
I was a devotee
I embraced religion
I learnt rituals
I surrendered myself
To God and Gurus

But where was the time
I was being myself
Truly listening
To the pulse of the Cosmos
And actually dancing
In rhythm with my heart

Being a Parent

Had a very interesting discussion yesterday in my sons school PTA. His school has a very interesting format for PTA where we start the day with a circle time for the parents and teachers (no children), and we have a dialogue on a topic that is sent out earlier as 'home study'. Yesterday's topic was 'conditioning of the mind'. During our circle time I mentioned something about wanting to be a 'platform for my child', and another parent reacted 'I don't know what you mean by being a platform'. I tried to explain but I don't think I could find words that conveyed it clearly. I mumbled some jumbled words and made a quirky face and threw my hands up in the air, and just said, 'well I guess I mean - be a platform'!

While I definitely need to work on my face-to -face communication skills, fortunately nature has aided me with an alternate means of communication - Poetry! What fun it is to write a poem - you can express what you want and whoever gets it gets it and whoever does not, does not - and nobody gets offended or battles with you for making your point! You see thats why they call it 'poetic license'! :-).

Being a Parent

What if I were just a platform
A base to help my child to grow
A reliable stage that supports him
Gently and quietly from below

What if I were just the space
For my child to learn and play
A space that welcomes all of him
Whatever his mood, every day

What if I didn't have to tell
What if I didn’t have to show
What if I didn't have to lead
To impose upon him, what I know




What if he has his knowing too

What if he has his dreams too

What if his life is HIS adventure

Can I let his journey be fresh and new?

The Thieves That Set Me Free

Something had been bothering me for the last two weeks and while glimpses of sunshine were coming and going, today finally a veil lifted and I saw that what had appeared to be a problem (or catastrophe) in one way had actually opened up a lot of more possibilities for me. And of course it had also done some timely slashing of my ever inflating ego (something that always hurts but then also makes us more free and less caught up in our own tightly concluded identities). I just wrote this poem in acknowledgement of that 'blessing in disguise'.


The Thieves that set me free

I walked on wearily
I walked on slowly
I walked diligently
Towards goals I had set for myself

I held on firmly
I grasped tightly
I carried responsibly
My important items and resources

I had worked hard
I had worked sincerely
I had worked tirelessly
To build my bundle of items

And then the thieves came.
They stole those items
They busted my ego
And they ran quickly away

For a while I cried
I lamented
I cursed God
I cursed myself

Then I played victim
I blamed the thieves
I blamed society
I pitied myself

Eventually I got bored
Of crying
Of blaming
Of self pity

I realized nobody was coming
To rescue me
To dole out justice
To babysit me

I looked around me and asked,
‘What else is possible now?’

As I started walking I realized
I could hold my head upright
My legs moved faster
My hands were free

Without the load of all those items
I could skip and run with ease
I could pluck fruits and flowers along the way
I could enjoy the pretty scenery

With my ego beaten and gone
I was not tied to the path anymore
The goal had no grasp on me
And I could wander as I chose

The thieves came back
Apologetic and ashamed
They gave my items back to me

I looked them in their eyes and said
Thank you, for gifting me
A chance to experience lightness
And a universe of possibilities to explore

I gave them back the items
I did not need them anymore
I had found a way of living
Way greater than before

Asking The Earth

Call me dear Earth
To come work for you
Whisper into my ears
What I can do

Call me where
You would like me to go
Show me whatever
You would like me to know

Tell me how I
Can be your scribe
And take your message
To the rest of my tribe

I’d like everyone
To see your glory
And experience your magic
Through my poem or story

Guide my fingers
When I write something down
Gift me the words
Each verb, each noun

Guide my thoughts
Give me some clues
Show me the colours
The shades and the hues

Tell me how I
Can help ease pain
When my tribe is locked
In stress and strain

I ask cos I know
You hold the key
To the joy of living
In harmony

Really Are You Afraid?

Really are you afraid
Afraid of being alone
Or is it actually excitement
Of being on your own

Remember how as a kid
You created fantasies
Of being a solo explorer
Of your own life mysteries

Really are you afraid
Of losing your current job
Or are you secretly excited
To leave behind that mob

Remember how as a kid
You were told to play it safe
But you were happy to roam
As a tramp and as a waif

Really are you afraid
Of anything at all
Or is it masked excitement
Of finally standing tall

Connecting with Drops

Lying quietly on my bed
Suddenly I hear the rain
In my cells I feel her drops
Bringing me alive again

I get up to greet her now
And feast on her pearly show
Drop after drop, from the skies
Rushing to meet the earth below

I sense the rain in the air
I smell her wetting the earth
In her glee I feel happy too
Happy that I chose this birth

The rain stops, the air is still
Thunder suddenly gives a roar
I see birds rush to treetops
As if asking for an encore

It rains again, sheets of water
Forming bridges everywhere
Bridges between earth and sky
Bridges between here and there