7 May 2013

Himalayan Learnings

To the Himalayas I wanted to go
Of the Himalayas I thought and dreamt
After years of dreaming and waiting
To the Himalayas I finally went

Loudly the Himalayas called to me
And to the Himalayas I did troop
And this time I travelled with the people
I loved most dearly in a group

In the Himalayas I sit right now
Nestled cozy in Earth's Paradise
A part of me is feeling very good
And a part of me is feeling very nice

But another part of me inside
Is feeling lonely and alone
But having arrived in Paradise
How could I possibly groan

How can this heart be not content
How can this heart need ever more
How can satisfaction elude me now
When I have everything I wanted before

What is this endless search I'm on
What will fill up this heart of mine
Where is this place on planet Earth
Where desires and fulfilment really align!

        It is interesting what I realised soon after writing this poem. Since the realisation did not come in verse I am writing in prose now. I had been feeling frustrated that being in the Himalayas and being in pristine nature was not automatically making me happy. My flash of insight came when I thought of the many monasteries that abound in this place (including the two I had just visited in the last two days). Clearly the monks were striving for similar things as me; peace and happiness. However, they were not just sitting idle amidst the mountains in the belief that nature's peace will rub off on them. They were working hard on their inner landscapes to make this happen. They were following rituals, meditations, exercise, diet, abstinence and carefully crafting the inner and outer experiences of their life to move towards greater peace and happiness. So too I must! :-).
      With this flash of insight I shifted gears from being a seeker of peace and happiness to being a creator of the same. Even though I might have been in the most conducive environment of the Himalayan mountains, I realized that I could not let go of the responsibility of crafting the inner landscapes of my mind. So for the rest of my trip (and hopefully I will continue doing it for the rest of my life) I took responsibility to co-create the happiness and peace I desired. I co-created these feelings and experiences with other human beings, with nature, and indeed with the wonderful Himalayan mountains. I must admit that once I started making my own inner efforts, the presence of the mountains did give an amazing lift and buoyancy to my inner experience.

5 May 2013

You are my Muse

You are my muse, thats what you are
For you can never be mine totally
Like rain you come and go as you please
But when you come, you drench me completely

You are my muse, with your proximal presence
You churn the insides of my heart and mind
Because of you the canvas of my life
Is coloured with emotions of every kind

You are my muse, I dont really have you
But you trigger growth and healing in me
You ignite in me sparks of energy
And inspire me to be the best I can be

You are my muse, my object of focus
Since I anyway cant get you out of my head
I will use you as a mirror to reflect
And channel that energy to my art instead

3 May 2013

Murky Pond

Today I witnessed something intriguing
I witnessed the thoughts in my head
I witnessed my emotions as they raced
And how they followed and how they led

I played some songs from yester-years
Songs with intense drama and emotion
And as I watched and as I listened
My feelings were no longer my own creation

I noticed my thoughts were not my own
My memory was piecing bits together
Bits to conform and fit in with the song
To blend with the songs emotional weather

Such random thoughts, such random meanings
All mushed up and stored in my mind
Why go to a theater, I have fodder inside
To churn out dramas of any possible kind

Whose thoughts are these, whose beliefs
I did not create them, I soaked them in
Some notions from books and songs and movies
And the rest from various kith and kin

So when my emotions hijack my peace
And my thoughts take me to annoying places
Can I just correct some patterns in my head
And free myself from all their traces

What happens the next time I read a book
My next movie, my next love song
The next conversation I have with someone
The next time I agree to just tag along

Can I be alert and aware all the time
To watch my attention and the company I keep
Can I orchestrate my life so much
To guard against influences while awake and asleep

Perhaps I should just immerse myself
In this messy and drama laden culture of ours
Expose myself to possible consequences
And stay prepared to bear some scars

I cannot be separate from this world
I am a part of this networked mess
The ideas that abound on this planet
Are the ones I find in my mind to address

As I brace the ups and downs of this ride
I want to be anchored somewhere beyond
Somewhere outside the world and my mind
For they both resemble a murky pond

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