18 Apr 2013

A prayer

I pray that my tears not be in vain
I pray that some good comes from this pain
I pray that I heal my wounds inside
I pray that this healing spreads outside
To touch and transmute all of life

I pray that I see this current ordeal
Not as a problem, but as a chance to heal
I pray that while I experience agony
The learning from my experience is shared with many
So we all grow together through this

I pray because this all I have left to do
This wonderful trick, I wish I earlier knew
I pray that this peace I feel as I pray
Does not stay confined to just me today
But engulfs every creature that exists

I pray that this healing not end right here
I pray that I transcend my every fear
I pray that as I am shown the way
And the universe invites me once more to play
We all embrace this game together!

17 Apr 2013

I knew this was coming

A part of me knew this was coming
Of course it eventually had to
How could it be different this time
Even if the person involved was you

They always start on a wonderful high
And then an ugly face rises
I'd like to believe I'm getting immune
To these heart-wrenching surprises

What I cannot understand though
Is how come I don't stop trying
How do I innocently expect each time
That this time I wont end up crying

Is life really all about crying
Does everything beautiful end in tears
How long do I have to live to understand
How many more tear-stricken years

I don't even feel like blaming you
How many people can I go on blaming
You guys have figured out a way to survive
It is me who has'nt learnt this gaming

It is me who is trapped in self defeating patterns
Me who gets caught in fancy illusions
Me who weaves these dreams of hope
And so me who is the victim of my delusions

10 Apr 2013

Rethinking Rejection

Sometimes I've tried to reach out
But been greeted with a no
And this refusal has made me
Feel unworthy and low

Sometimes I've tried to initiate
But been told to go away
And this response has made me cry
And ruined my entire day

I made requests and demands of life
But life had a plan of its own
When I perceived my needs were not being met 
I became lost and forlorn

I framed it in my mind as if
Others were rejecting me
But I was also rejecting their needs
Is a perspective I can now see

So a no is really just a no
A response that there is no overlap
In the needs of two people at that time
It is not an insult or slap

It is not an indicator that I should not
Initiate another request
It is not an indicator that I will be
Perceived as an annoyance or pest

I can be free to initiate as much
And as often as my heart wants to
Accept with grace whatever the response
And feel free to re-initiate anew


I'm being authentic, no matter if
My authenticity scares you away
I'm being authentic, no matter if
It makes you feel angry today

I'm being authentic, because it is
The truest way for me to be
I'm being authentic, my inner self
And that's the me you'll get to see

I'm being authentic, I'm being just me
I'm not perfect and that is a fact
I'm being authentic, I'm expressing myself
I'm tired of using masks and tact

I'm being authentic, bring it on
Bring on as much criticism you can
I'm being authentic, no ego to protect
No image or pretense of an ideal woman

You can put whatever labels you want
I'm honoring whatever arises in me
For this is the only way I know
To walk the earth and yet be free.

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