31 May 2015

Why does it feel like an Effort to Live

Why does it feel like an effort to live
If life is as natural as it’s supposed to be
Is it because I am pushing myself
Against the currents that are carrying me?

Why does it feel like an effort to live
If I am really in love with what is around
Is love not what I have thought it to be
Or is it love itself that keeps me bound?

Why does it feel like an effort to live
Even when things are going my way
Is each achievement just a spike of joy
That the next moment will wash away?

Why does it feel like an effort to live
If my faith is strong and my worship pure
Is it because I am separate from God
Is the end of separation, the only cure?


16 May 2015

Clean Chit

It is true that I have cried a lot
It is true that I have been in trenches
It is true that I have wept and suffered
And experienced painful heart wrenches

It is true that you were around then
It is true I held you accountable
It is true I thought you should have helped
Each time I felt lost and unstable

But now I know that all that pain
All that suffering was my own
It was my mind, galloping wild
It was my heart, scathed and torn

That you were around, is not your fault
I doubt that you could have helped at all
My pain was mine, it was not from you
I was beating my head against a wall

It was my journey, my own growth pains
Now I am stronger and wiser for it
I found my ropes, I found my light
I can now lift myself out of that pit

I assure you, you were never to blame
My accusations came from ignorance
My expectations that you needed to help
Were just my own created nonsense

I give you a clean chit to take with you
You owe me nothing at all you know
In fact you gave me precious gifts
Gifts that helped me bloom and grow